Learning

As a professor in psychology at a community college, I learn from my students. I have requested reciprocal communication, enabling us to learn from each other. There is a generational span of forty years in many of my classes. During one semester, I enjoyed an eighty-three years young student who stated that he enrolled in college so his brain would not get rusty.

What I most appreciate about my students is their curiosity and a desire to learn. The students respond to the talking points on subject matter, not necessarily from gender or age. In one class, there is a mother of a fifteen year old teenager, another with a ten year old child and a young woman with an infant among young students in their twenties. In addition, there are mature adults reentering college as a result of career changes. Their common goals are to prepare for their careers and to learn about human development in this course, The Lifespan. It is a privilege to be in an environment where I can potentially learn something new in every class. It’s a place called ‘community’, where our common goal is to discover.

During my years at the college, I have met students from different countries: South Korea, Japan, China, Taiwan, India, Philippines, Turkey, Central America, North Africa, Lebanon, Nigeria, Ecuador, Guyana and Jamaica. What an incredible privilege! The families of these students have similar values of the families that I know in the United States: education is an investment in the next generation.

Losses

There are persons that I love and hold permanent places in my heart, although not present in my life today. No one can ever take those special places; they have already been taken. Some have died and passed away. Some persons are alive and have walked away. The memories of our time together are etched in my heart, forever. When I keep the memories alive, there are no losses.

Learning to trust yourself

Learning to trust yourself can be challenging. Consider this. No one knows you better than yourself. Your thoughts and feelings are coming from your core self.

Yet there are so many ‘authorities’ and ‘wiser ones.’ How can you be so sure? There is one certain way. Take the risk and trust your own view. You may not be on point every time, but if you don’t try you’ll never know when you can be.

If your path is not designed by you, but based on the approval of others, it is not your unique journey.

Are you Happy?

When I was growing up, I was told to get good grades and a good job. Was/ is that happiness?

Forty years later, my father told me that it was important for me to find out what makes me happy. I responded by reminding him that he told me I was supposed to make him happy.

”I didn’t know better,” he said. He was 85 years old.

We all know better. We know to tell ourselves, our children and our families that it’s important to find happiness. And that will mean something different to each person, of course, because there isn’t just one road to happiness. But it’s a good thing to learn.

And it is never too late to learn.

The attachment styles formed as children follows into adulthood, defining relationships at home and at work.

Here are two examples: if you needed to seek approval from significant others, that may still be your operating style. If you needed to avoid disapproval, you may still be trying harder to be perfect.